Redwoods and Sea Lions

One of the nicest things about being back in the US is that I've been able to talk to all my friends back home. Just knowing they're there and that I have their support is so wonderful. When I was in Scotland I was feeling especially distanced and homeless, but talking to everyone just reminded me that everyone is still there. I feel content to go off to Thailand for two months knowing that will still be true when I get home. I wrote about loneliness during that same patch of doubt in Scotland, but I also really love being alone. I love waking up and going out at my own pace. No need to confer with anyone else on where to go or what they want to see or if they need food or anything else. Just me and my own wants and needs; it's incredibly freeing.

Ironically while everyone began their spring break, I spent my first few days here on college campuses. My first day wandering around Berkeley was beautiful and warm and sunny. These neighborhoods are gardens; every yard is filled with flowers and bushes and, in some cases, lemon trees. My sister's apartment is in a really wonderful location close to Downtown Berkeley and the UC Berkeley campus, of which I explored both my first day. The college campus is very beautiful. After walking through neighborhoods filled with houses and stores the campus feels quite removed. It's got trees and grassy areas and wooden bridges; all in all a good place to sit and relax - especially since there are no places to sit in Berkeley except for bus stop benches.

On Friday, my second day, Jack had a meeting at Stanford so I went with him to bond and meander the campus grounds. Another really beautiful campus in a completely different way than UC Berkeley. It's almost like a medieval castle. There are stone archways and a courtyard and just really beautiful architecture. Give me that, a hidden bench in a small wooded section, a book, and 70+ degrees and what could be better? By the time we got back it was the start of Shabbat and Noa invited over a few friends. One of whom was the girlfriend of Jack's older brother, Benj, who we are having dinner with tonight. That will bring my total of Cohens met in person to 3 out of 5. So it was a really good dinner with good people and good food.

Saturday was a relaxed day. I walked around Berkeley a bit and hung out with Noa and Jack. Sunday was an awesome day. Noa and I were invited hiking by one of Jack's roommates, Yosef. One of the other hikers, Dan, picked us up early to go to a farmer's market to get some lunch. Not only was it a really nice farmer's market, but we got very delicious cheese from our new friend Jessie, and bread and apples. We picked up Yosef and another girl, Shlayma, and headed to the Oakland redwoods. What a lovely hike! And I got to see my first redwood trees! Yosef, keeper of the map, got us a little lost but no one minded. It was too beautiful out for us to want the hike to end. But of course it did end, and we all went home happily sore. Noa and I then proceeded to make the best lentil vegetable soup ever and roasted brussel sprouts. We popped in a movie around 8 (to which I promptly fell asleep) and that was our day!

Yesterday, Monday, Noa's roommate from college, Nikki, drove down to see us. While Noa worked during the day Nikki and I went into San Francisco. We walked along the ocean front and went to Pier 39 for a while. Did you know there are sea lions routinely chilling at Pier 39? Me neither. Then we wandered into the hills, which are appropriately named, and climbed through the neighborhoods until we reached Coit Tower and were rewarded with a view of the bay and the Golden Gate Bridge. We met up with Noa not so much later in Downtown Berkeley at a cafe and hung out there until Nikki had to go home. By the way, if you need a photographer Nikki is your girl. http://www.sorella-muse.com/

That brings us up to present moment. I'm still chilling in Noa's apartment with no defined plans at the moment, but later tonight Jack, Noa, and I are having dinner with Jack's brother, Benj, and girlfriend, Amanda. Should be good! And did I mention this is my last full day in California? I leave tomorrow night for Thailand! Crazy. I can remember last summer when I first found out about Lanta Animal Welfare and e-mailed them with a "might as well" mindset. After receiving an e-mail and application within 24 hours I called my Mom, who was away that week, and declared that I was going to Thailand. Of course that was when I was still in the trip planning process and often declared I was going to New Zealand, Argentina, Jupiter, etc so I wasn't taken too seriously. But now...it's tomorrow. And I'm actually going. I keep flip flopping between elation and jitters but overall I can't wait to get there and start volunteering. Also, I miss my cats and dog so I'm really excited to play with the ones there. If all goes well I'll arrive there on Friday. Got to love 14 hour flights, layovers, and a 15 hour time difference!

Also, there are more pictures here which you might be able to look at even if you don't have Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150664255149680.455198.773189679&type=1

Bed #15

Flights 9 and 10 brought me to Bed #15, which happens to be the most crowded bed so far in that I share it with the lovely Noa Silver (no complaints there). Yesterday will officially be recognized as The Day That Wouldn't End. Nothing is more disorienting than waking up at 4am in the dark and the rain in Scotland, spending 18 hours either in airports or airplanes, and emerging to a warm, sun-filled afternoon around 2pm in California. Noa and I danced down the street into each others arms and she led me to her apartment. It's a lot bigger than I expected. It's the upper floor of a house and has rooms for 4 girls, plus a decent sized living room, dining room, and small kitchen. So far I've met 2 out or the 3 roommates and they're both really nice. Also, Noa's boyfriend, Jack, came over for dinner and though I was only clinging onto wakefulness at that point it was great to see him, and to eat non-plane food.

Upon reuniting, one of the first things Noa said to me was, "So I got bored at work today and made you a list of some things to do." Great, I thought, expecting a few suggestions. What I have instead is a day-by-day schedule of what I might choose to do or who is going to be around, since Noa has to work during the week. Today's assignment is to explore Berkeley, and the sunshine streaming in this window next to me is already enticing me outside. Noa finishes work around 3 and gets back to her neighborhood at 4ish so we'll meet up then and maybe hit up yoga at 4:30 and then locate ourselves some dinner. Not too shabby. I think it's going to be a good week here.

Scotland pt. 2

The Scotland section of my trip draws to a close. Tomorrow is officially my last day here and then I leave at some ridiculously early hour on Wednesday morning to journey to California and my sister. These last few days have been good. My Mom and little sister, Maya, arrived on Saturday afternoon. My Uncle Paul had been here for a couple of days before that and he drove my Dad and I to the airport to pick them up. Paul left Sunday morning so it's just the four of us plus Grandpa. Somehow I thought it would be strange to see the rest of my family after two months apart, but two months doesn't erase eighteen years. It feels perfectly normal to be all together, even if it isn't in the usual surroundings.

Weather has outdone itself lately. Saturday morning started out sunny, turned to rain, followed by snow, and returned to sun for the afternoon. By sun, I mean a relative lack of cloudiness but the sky is never totally clear. It's impossible to say what the day will be like even on the morning of, though it has rained every day in typical Glaswegian style. My Dad and I were fairly lucky our first week here and it's good we made use of those clear days by going into town because we really haven't been venturing far since we returned from Germany.

Since the arrival of my Mom and Maya we've seen some of the rest of the local family and friends. My cousin Simon came over the other day and our old babysitter, Bridget, came over earlier today. That was nice but I'm pretty eager to get to California and sunshine. Not to mention my sister who I haven't seen since the summer! So that is all for now, and probably all for Scotland. Back to the US it is!

Nothing And Everything To Do With Travel

A month ago I was in the desert, and a month from today I'll be on an island, but today I am in Scotland. Somehow, for some reason, every time I've come back to this house (which is only 3 times since we moved away) all my insecurities seem to present themselves. Maybe it's the rain, maybe it's the absence of a used-to-be feeling of home. Either way, they struck me down last night in a midst of college doubts and questions about home. When I tell people my older sister went to Harvard and then say, or rather admit, that I'm going to University of Maine I feel like I can always detect a hint of judgement. Even if it's not there I create it myself. And I've always counteracted my parents comments on how the name of the school makes a difference with, "Yes, I know that, but I just don't think Harvard, Brown, Yale, etc is the right place for me. I know what I want to do and I don't know that I could properly study it at any of those schools." Which is true, partially. But there's always the fear that if I applied and didn't get in it would only validate that I'm not as good, not as smart as my sister. And if I did get in I could only ever be as good as. Not to mention that I'd probably be going for the wrong reasons, which is, essentially, the name. Also I just feel so far away from home, it hardly feels like I have a home at all. Even when I return it's only a few months before I move into a college dorm. I'm worried I won't have friends when I get back, or that we'll all be different and no longer desire to be friends. Last summer there was one week early on that threw me upside down and inside out, and in response to losing my boyfriend, the abandonment of my best friend to a boy, and a real family problem coming to light I essentially stopped hanging out with most of my friends and dived head long into work just so I might feel exhausted and numb by the time I got home. But I always knew my friends were there if and when I wanted them...now, away from home, I don't have any real friends. Maybe because of that lack, and the lack of communication at some points, I desperately want really good friends and people around me to talk and engage with. Right now I'm with family, which is nice, even if it is just me and my Dad and we've sometimes had enough of each other (though we're getting along remarkably well with very few tiffs), but it's still different than having friends.

Loneliness would hit me from time to time in Israel. And it's strange learning to be on your own, to go places by yourself, no plans with anyone, really alone. Maybe I've never been that independent before; I never really went places by myself because at least half of the point of going was just to be able to spend time with others. What I notice when I think back is that I was really good at adapting to different mindsets and different people, but I don't know how often I was actually being myself. I don't even know what 'being myself' entails. Do we ever understand ourselves? Does anyone ever understand us? Have we ever properly understood anyone else?

So that's all. No comment required. It's just nice to write it down and know it's available, public, present, there, and true. 

It's hard to believe that I'll be in California in less than a week now. And the day after tomorrow I see my Mom and little sister, Maya, after two plus months. What would happen if time just stood still? I feel like it's the continual progression of time that astounds me more than anything else.

Airport Good Times

Yesterday my Dad and I said goodbye to Zinnia and Hans-Jorg and began our return trip to Scotland. We were keeping an eye on the weather, but the area of real concern presented itself with a bomb scare. Not in Frankfurt Airport, thankfully, but in Amsterdam which is where we were scheduled to fly through. We had just reached our terminal in Frankfurt when we were told the Amsterdam airport was closed due to a bomb threat and we had to be re-routed through London. This wasn't an inconvenience for us, but it meant we had to run back to the other terminal and try to find someone who knew what was going on to give us boarding passes and take our luggage in a less than desirable amount of time. Long story short, we found someone, got what we needed, spent an eternally long time going through extra security, but just made it to both of our flights and got to Glasgow close to the same time as we were expecting to. Transferring at London Heathrow was really a close call because we had to change terminals and there's a whole bunch of drawn out security procedures, but luckily for my Dad I am an expert on Heathrow Airport and we did make our connection.

And we made it back to my Grandpa's house and lived happily ever after. Except that they lost my suitcase. The guy in charge of getting lost luggage looked at my baggage ticket and quickly said, "Well here's your problem, they forgot to check one of the bags all the way to Glasgow. Yup, it's sitting in London for you right now!" (Oh good, cause London's right next door) But I got my suitcase today. And we met a lot of nice people at the airport. And we got home okay. And we weren't actually trying to go to Amsterdam so all is well.

So the moral of the story is: Always arrive at airports early...and don't expect to leave promptly. And maybe keep your glasses and pajamas in your carry on.

As for the bomb scare in Amsterdam, some guy locked himself in a bathroom and announced that he had a bomb. He did not. Way to go, kid.

Heilbronn And Some Pictures!

It turns out I really like Germany. I almost have to say that in past tense since tomorrow it's back to Scotland. We've been staying in Heilbronn for the past few nights with some really marvelous people, Zinnia and Hans-Jorg. They're kind in the way the Meltzers were kind; some people are just so immensely caring and welcoming! I especially like talking with Zinnia because she had horses when she was younger and is full of good stories about them, as well as wanting to know more about my pony, Ransom; a subject I always enjoy. Hans-Jorg is also really great, though his english isn't as good as Zinnia's so I haven't had a lot of conversation with him, but he is so hospitable and always drives and picks my Dad and I up from the train station. They live in a very large, very lovely house that easily made room for my Dad and I, as well as one of their sons, his wife, and their three kids who got here the same day as us and just left this morning. They were all just as kind as Zinnia and Hans-Jorg so it's been really wonderful staying here.

It's also been freezing, though. I don't need to describe what it's like to be unbearably cold to anyone in Maine - and it's been every bit as cold as Maine here - but we've still been going out every day for as long as we can bear. On Friday, our first full day here, my Dad and I went to a vineyard not far from Hans-Jorg and Zinnia's house. Heilbronn is very much wine country and there are vineyards stretching across the landscape everywhere. Like this:

Yesterday, Saturday, the two of us went into Stuttgart which is a 40 or so minute train ride from Heilbronn. The train ride there turned out to be much more eventful than I would have expected. You know the stereotypical crazy European soccer fan? Think Eurotrip. Yeah, so we accidentally sat down in a compartment with a whole lot of the German equivalent. These guys are insane. They had their scarves hanging out the windows and one guy had his hair dyed blue (I think he was their leader) and they spent the whole ride screaming "STUTTGART" and their soccer anthem as loudly as possible in between bottles of beer. I found it all very hilarious but most people in this compartment were not as amused. The guy in front of us, after hearing that we were Americans, started telling us in broken, but emphatic, english how this is true German culture that we needed to know and understand. At the train station they joined in the ranks with all the other insane fans who the police were trying to corral into one section. It seems like all good fun but I wouldn't want to be there when the other team's fans showed up.

The rest of the day was much more tame. We went to the Kunst Art Museum for an hour or two, which has a really marvelous collection. Afterwards we ventured out into the horridly cold streets and made our way to a falafel shop close by. Let's be honest, there isn't really a comparison to real Israeli falafel, but it was still pretty good. By now it was time to venture back to the train station but it was just too cold to be outside for more than a few minutes, so we made our way back by walking until we were frozen and then darting into the nearest shop to thaw out. Stuttgart, and what I've seen of Germany in general, seems to be pretty proud of its pretzels so we bought some still-hot ones at the station to keep us warm while we waited for the train.

Also going on in Stuttgart, along with the crazy soccer fans, are a bunch of protests against a new subway being built which, besides being pretty unnecessary, would destroy large sections of the environment. So good for you Stuttgart-ians! Keep up the rallies. They all wear V for Vendetta masks and the train station was filled with them coming and going to main protest, which was right by the museum. I don't know how these people could stand being outside for any amount of time, but it was very well attended.

Right outside the museum, a pedestrian mall

That brings us to today, Sunday, our last day in Germany. The kids and grandkids of Zinnia and Hans-Jorg left after breakfast, and the four of us that remained went for a nice, though cold, walk through a different vineyard area in Heilbronn. This area was very nice because you had a view of the whole city from up high. But like I said, it's really too cold to be outside for very long so mostly we've stayed indoors today.

To the left is a very misty Heilbronn

I'm not really looking forward to leaving Germany tomorrow, and I know my Dad will miss his friends. I think he's really enjoyed seeing them after 16 or 17 years and reminiscing with them about all their old friends and the music festival they used to go to, or play at in my Dad's case. 

Thanks to wi-fi, my Dad's laptop, and a borrowed cable I was able to put some pictures on Facebook so if you're on it you can see more from Germany, Scotland, and Israel. 

Oh Hey Germany

I shouldn't have spoken so quickly about not seeing any snow this winter. What should greet us upon our arrival in Germany but a snow flurry. I take back anything kind I said about snow. Snow sucks.

I think Frankfurt must be quite lovely, but I haven't seen much more than the view from our hotel window. Strangely enough, being kind of sick and then waking up too early and spending an entire day either up in the air or outside in the cold doesn't make you feel better - it makes you feel worse. So I spent yesterday in the hotel room learning German from badly dubbed episodes of Family Guy and Spongebob Squarepants...not my finest moment.

I didn't realize not knowing German would be such a hindrance. I guess a lot of people do know some english, but it's not like Israel where everyone knows enough to communicate with. The only word I know is "danke," which is "thank you." But today we're leaving Frankfurt and heading to old friends of my parents in Heilbronn, and they speak english. Sometimes I feel a little guilty for only knowing one language and forcing others to pull out their english in order to accommodate me. I'd really like to know more languages and be able to better communicate. Wouldn't it be nice if we all spoke the same language? But there's a lot of beauty in the diversity.

So now we've got four more nights in Germany before returning to Scotland. Then a week and a half there for me before I go to California to see my sister, Noa. Thank goodness for warmer temperatures only two weeks away!

In The Absence of Sunlight

It's nice to know that in a world that changes as fast as ours you can always rely on Glasgow's weather to be rather miserable. It's been less than a week since I arrived here and already I'm kind of sick. Between the cold, damp climate and consistently grey skies my immune system didn't stand a chance. Glasgow really isn't a place for anyone disposed to depression; what gets to me the most is waking up to a cloudy, grey sky which remains a similar shade of grey for the majority of the day before descending into total darkness. There was sun predicted for this afternoon which I've realized means that you will see only the outline of the sun behind a dense cloud layer. What surprises me the most about Scots is that they are a particularly cheery sort, at least the ones I've met. But I think you really have to be like that in order to survive here. Either that or the ability to hold your liquor.

Today was a very successful day. My Dad and I went to the Royal Thai Consulate of Glasgow to get my visa for Thailand. It was ready in 3 hours as opposed to 3 or so weeks. I got money from my Scottish bank account and converted some to Thai Bahts so I'm all set for Thailand. Can I tell you how excited I am to be somewhere warm again? I'm also really looking forward to going somewhere no one in my family has gone before. Thailand is my one real contribution to this trip. None of my parents' friends to visit and no family to stay with. This is, in some ways, my first real endeavour out into the world as a traveller and a person.

Tomorrow morning I head to Germany with my Dad. He has to do some research there one day and then we're staying with old friends of his for a couple of nights. I'm mentally preparing myself for colder temperatures but I'm crossing my fingers for some sunshine. I'm dreading next year's winter in Maine. I haven't seen a single snowflake this year and I'm complaining about the cold in 30-40 degree F temperatures. In terms of a Maine winter I'm being completely spoiled this year, but when it comes down to Glasgow's grey, rainy skies I might actually prefer the snow.

What I can say about Glasgow is that is has some really beautiful architecture. And I love fish and chips. And Cadbury Flakes are one of chocolate's greatest inventions. And there's a bagpipe school in the middle of town. And who doesn't love a good kilt store? I actually saw a kilt wedding dress which was truly bizarre. When I can understand it, Scottish accents are quite lovely. There are no harsh consonants and it's said in an almost sing-song manner. Glasgow's got a real personality to it; there's no second guessing where you are as you walk around town. Now if only there was some sunshine.

Scotland pt.1

Double decker buses, fish and chips, haggis, and kilts...where else could I be but Scotland? On Wednesday my dad picked me up from the airport. Funny when you think it was about two months ago that he dropped me off in Boston. It is so good to see him! And, of course, my Grandpa as well. This is my third time coming to Glasgow since we moved to America when I was five, and every time I come here it brings back so many childhood memories. Names of people I haven't though of in over a decade suddenly pop into my head, like my old babysitter, Bridget and her little dog. Or I'll look at something and suddenly have flashes of memories, like the cupboard under the stairs where I used to play with a dollhouse. Things that haven't crossed my mind in years. In some ways the house is exactly the same as it always has been in my mind, but it's also different being here when it's so empty. My grandpa is 95 and he's been living in this house for about 60 years, half of this house's lifetime. His children were born and grew up here, and then my parents moved into the upper half and so my sisters and I also partially grew up here. It was always full of people and children and now it's just one man's house - but it still feels like a home to me.

My Grandpa really is incredible and knows something about everything, and usually a little more than just 'something.' You can sit down and have a conversation with him and learn the entire history of steeple making (once I asked what the tallest steeple in Glasgow was), or really anything. He's really a remarkable person and the older I get the more I am amazed by all that he knows. This is only the fifth time I've seen him since I was 5 and I really wish we were able to make it over here more often. Except I could do without the weather...


Today is actually the first day it's rained since I arrived, but it's been cold and damp. The only consolation is that it's still warmer than it would be if I had stayed in Maine. My dad's been here for just over a week now, and he's spent most of that time rehearsing with his old trio for a concert they performed yesterday. He plays the piano, Lev plays the violin and viola, and Sasha plays the cello. This is they're first time performing together in about a decade but it was really wonderful. I went with my Grandpa to the concert yesterday and he met up with some of his friends (I hope I have friends at 95). One of them is an editor for a magazine my Grandpa reads and contributes to now and then. My Grandpa sent him a few excerpts from this blog and the editor suggested I send something short in. How cool would that be?

Now that my Dad's finished his concert he's got a few days off, but we're leaving on Tuesday for Germany. We've spent today working up the courage to go out into the rain to buy food, and tomorrow if it clears up at all we'll go into town for a while. Monday I have to get my visa for Thailand. And then it's up in the air - literally.

PS: We took the train the other day and the ticket checker's name was 'Scott.'