A Traveler's Nemesis: Jetlag

Thanks to my dear friend, Jetlag, day is officially night and vice versa. So while it's 3:43am and sleep is nowhere in sight I feel I might as well write a little. When I wrote last time I said that I felt like I was waiting for a real shock that had yet to hit...well today it hit. While it probably doesn't help that my sleep pattern is beyond messed up, I feel so disoriented and so out of place here in California. Also, my sister is away this weekend which may also contribute because I'm alone in her bedroom in her apartment with her roommates. This is difficult for me to explain because I don't want to come across as if I'm not looking forward to returning home in a week and a half, but I just really miss Thailand right now. I'm still talking to all my friends from there and going through pictures and answering questions in a way that might make others understand what it was like there as well as trying to process the whole experience myself. I realize I don't have to accomplish that in the two or three days since I've left, but I am so wrapped around those memories that whenever someone talks to me about going home I want to tell them that they're mistaken, I'm not going home soon, I've just left it. I feel so torn in the directions of Maine, where I'm headed, and Thailand, where I've been, that I feel like I'm nowhere at all at the moment. I'm turning my head from side to side across the globe; what direction should I be facing in?

Whenever I do sleep I dream of Thailand. It's more of playing back memories than actually dreaming. I lay in bed today in an unmotivated heap and rose only to go through photos of the past two months. I haven't even changed my travel clock to the correct time zone yet because I like knowing what time it is there so I might imagine what's going on at the shelter. I guess I just don't want to make it a past event yet; I loved what it felt like to be there. There were so many times I'd be riding around with someone, just looking up or out, and begin thinking, "I love..." and have no need to attempt to finish the sentence because the love wasn't attached to one specific piece of the moment but everything about where I was and who I was and what I was doing right then in that beautiful, beautiful place. Without a doubt there were days when I'd be fed up with someone or something but those were overall the most brilliant two months. 

It's not that I'm not looking forward to going home. I'm just not able to look forward to it right now because I'm still so caught up in where I just was. Whenever I try to explain this feeling to anyone I meet the responses of, "You'll be fine;" "You'll travel again and fall in love with other places;" "But isn't it nice how you have so many contacts around the world now?" All are true and I'm aware of each, but right now I would trade this comfortable bed, flushing toilet, and hot shower for an immeasurably sweaty day walking dogs along the beach, cuddling with my cat, Julia, and burning my mouth on spicy Thai food with my friends at dinner. It should be noted that I am extremely jetlagged.

Thailand Says, "Not So Fast!"

As if "my last day on Lanta" didn't carry enough negative connotation, the day was filled almost entirely with unpleasantries. I suppose I should first mention that for about three days at this point I'd had a painfully swollen ankle that I didn't think much of. Come Tuesday I was meant to work my last shift from 1-7pm, but by noon I had a fever and was panicking that I was leaving the next day for a solid 45 hours of travel. Then the vet saw my ankle and told me it looked infected. Great, I thought, obviously this had to happen my last day. My best friend at the shelter, Miriam, took me to the clinic where they confirmed that it was infected because I had scratched a mosquito bite and, being on my foot, dirt had gotten in. That was why I had a fever and, just to make me feel worse, several other bites were starting to become infected. The first one was clearly the worst and had formed an abscess which she said they ought to open today or it would just become worse over the next few days. So here I am in Thailand, my last day, lying in a hospital with my foot numbed up so they can squeeze out all the pus...awesome. Not exactly my hopes for the day, but after they cleaned it out and gave me some antibiotics I felt so much better and decided to work the last half of my shift. I wasn't allowed to walk so I was doing chores around the shelter when in came another volunteer and we got into an unintentional argument. Unintentional on my half at least, but as she's been very disrespectful to myself and several other volunteers over the past weeks I wasn't afraid to defend myself or give her a piece of my mind once she had a go at me. Later that evening Batman the cat chewed apart my headphones right before I'm supposed to spend a good 16 hours getting to Bangkok across land. The day ended off with a nice dinner with all of the people I like, but these antibiotics I'm taking four times a day take away my appetite so I wasn't really able to enjoy my last meal on Lanta. Let's just pretend Thailand was trying to slow me down so that it might hold me in its arms a while longer.

The journey from Koh Lanta to San Francisco encompassed almost every form of transportation: from pick-up truck to mini van to ferries to overnight bus to taxi to airplanes to subway to Noa's house. For such an intensely long journey it wasn't as difficult as I was expecting and I met some very nice people along the way. I left at 2pm and got to Bangkok at about 5am. The overnight bus might well be the most uncomfortable thing I've ever experienced, and the bus employee kept asking me if I was going to Bangkok. Yes, I am going to Bangkok...that is why I am on the bus labeled "to Bangkok." I thought I'd be able to get a bus from the station to the airport, but the Bangkok bus station is really just a humongous parking lot filled with buses and lacking any signs or information booths that I could see. But it's very possible they were there and I just couldn't see them because I couldn't even see where or how to get out. By the time I made my way to the road a taxi seemed like a better choice and I got to the airport at 6am for a 12:20pm flight. Still, with my ankle it would have been impossible to run for my connection in the previous game plan. I met a nice, older French-Chinese man here who was also alone. The suitcase I borrowed from my Mom has a French flag for an ID tag and he thought I might also be from France. After I explained that I didn't he hopefully asked, "Well do you speak French anyways?" and I pulled out what rusty French skills I contain from high school and we had a lovely, grammatically incorrect conversation which ended with him inviting me to Paris and giving me his name, address, phone number, and e-mail...I think he means it.

The flight was fine; I got to watch my first movie in two months! I arrived in Taipei with a four hour layover and within the first hour met Felix. After we found out we were both flying to San Francisco we were instantly friends and spent hours laughing and exploring the Taipei airport, making use of its free massage chairs in the relaxation room, free cake samples, free internet, art gallery and small museum. It was undoubtedly the most fun I've had in an airport. The 11 hour flight to San Francisco stretched on and on and I was so happy to arrive and see my sister. I feel like I'm waiting for a major shock to hit about leaving Thailand but so far it's just been little surprises, like traffic and hot showers. I did feel a bit out of place on the BART subway in my brightly colored Thai pants which seemed even brighter against a background of denim jeans, but they're where I've been and what I've done and who I am and I'm going to wear them regardless.

It's a good thing I've already been to Berkeley and done a fair bit of exploring here because I'm not supposed to walk on my foot for a week. By the time I head to Arizona it should be fine. It's really bizarre to me that I'm going to be home in less than two weeks. It feels so close and that makes me feel so far away from Thailand and the home I created there. I do and I will miss all my pets there, but it was hardest saying good bye to the people. I know it won't be the last time I see some of them, though. Meagan from Canada invited me there this July to volunteer at a music festival with her and I plan on going. I feel sure that I'll see Miriam again whether it be in New Zealand, Germany, Ireland, Maine or somewhere completely new and unexplored. And I know if I'm ever in the UK, Sweden, or Australia I have people to visit. Now I just need to begin convincing my parents to let me adopt Julia, my cat, or Michael, my dog, from Thailand (please?).

Redwoods and Sea Lions

One of the nicest things about being back in the US is that I've been able to talk to all my friends back home. Just knowing they're there and that I have their support is so wonderful. When I was in Scotland I was feeling especially distanced and homeless, but talking to everyone just reminded me that everyone is still there. I feel content to go off to Thailand for two months knowing that will still be true when I get home. I wrote about loneliness during that same patch of doubt in Scotland, but I also really love being alone. I love waking up and going out at my own pace. No need to confer with anyone else on where to go or what they want to see or if they need food or anything else. Just me and my own wants and needs; it's incredibly freeing.

Ironically while everyone began their spring break, I spent my first few days here on college campuses. My first day wandering around Berkeley was beautiful and warm and sunny. These neighborhoods are gardens; every yard is filled with flowers and bushes and, in some cases, lemon trees. My sister's apartment is in a really wonderful location close to Downtown Berkeley and the UC Berkeley campus, of which I explored both my first day. The college campus is very beautiful. After walking through neighborhoods filled with houses and stores the campus feels quite removed. It's got trees and grassy areas and wooden bridges; all in all a good place to sit and relax - especially since there are no places to sit in Berkeley except for bus stop benches.

On Friday, my second day, Jack had a meeting at Stanford so I went with him to bond and meander the campus grounds. Another really beautiful campus in a completely different way than UC Berkeley. It's almost like a medieval castle. There are stone archways and a courtyard and just really beautiful architecture. Give me that, a hidden bench in a small wooded section, a book, and 70+ degrees and what could be better? By the time we got back it was the start of Shabbat and Noa invited over a few friends. One of whom was the girlfriend of Jack's older brother, Benj, who we are having dinner with tonight. That will bring my total of Cohens met in person to 3 out of 5. So it was a really good dinner with good people and good food.

Saturday was a relaxed day. I walked around Berkeley a bit and hung out with Noa and Jack. Sunday was an awesome day. Noa and I were invited hiking by one of Jack's roommates, Yosef. One of the other hikers, Dan, picked us up early to go to a farmer's market to get some lunch. Not only was it a really nice farmer's market, but we got very delicious cheese from our new friend Jessie, and bread and apples. We picked up Yosef and another girl, Shlayma, and headed to the Oakland redwoods. What a lovely hike! And I got to see my first redwood trees! Yosef, keeper of the map, got us a little lost but no one minded. It was too beautiful out for us to want the hike to end. But of course it did end, and we all went home happily sore. Noa and I then proceeded to make the best lentil vegetable soup ever and roasted brussel sprouts. We popped in a movie around 8 (to which I promptly fell asleep) and that was our day!

Yesterday, Monday, Noa's roommate from college, Nikki, drove down to see us. While Noa worked during the day Nikki and I went into San Francisco. We walked along the ocean front and went to Pier 39 for a while. Did you know there are sea lions routinely chilling at Pier 39? Me neither. Then we wandered into the hills, which are appropriately named, and climbed through the neighborhoods until we reached Coit Tower and were rewarded with a view of the bay and the Golden Gate Bridge. We met up with Noa not so much later in Downtown Berkeley at a cafe and hung out there until Nikki had to go home. By the way, if you need a photographer Nikki is your girl. http://www.sorella-muse.com/

That brings us up to present moment. I'm still chilling in Noa's apartment with no defined plans at the moment, but later tonight Jack, Noa, and I are having dinner with Jack's brother, Benj, and girlfriend, Amanda. Should be good! And did I mention this is my last full day in California? I leave tomorrow night for Thailand! Crazy. I can remember last summer when I first found out about Lanta Animal Welfare and e-mailed them with a "might as well" mindset. After receiving an e-mail and application within 24 hours I called my Mom, who was away that week, and declared that I was going to Thailand. Of course that was when I was still in the trip planning process and often declared I was going to New Zealand, Argentina, Jupiter, etc so I wasn't taken too seriously. But now...it's tomorrow. And I'm actually going. I keep flip flopping between elation and jitters but overall I can't wait to get there and start volunteering. Also, I miss my cats and dog so I'm really excited to play with the ones there. If all goes well I'll arrive there on Friday. Got to love 14 hour flights, layovers, and a 15 hour time difference!

Also, there are more pictures here which you might be able to look at even if you don't have Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150664255149680.455198.773189679&type=1

Bed #15

Flights 9 and 10 brought me to Bed #15, which happens to be the most crowded bed so far in that I share it with the lovely Noa Silver (no complaints there). Yesterday will officially be recognized as The Day That Wouldn't End. Nothing is more disorienting than waking up at 4am in the dark and the rain in Scotland, spending 18 hours either in airports or airplanes, and emerging to a warm, sun-filled afternoon around 2pm in California. Noa and I danced down the street into each others arms and she led me to her apartment. It's a lot bigger than I expected. It's the upper floor of a house and has rooms for 4 girls, plus a decent sized living room, dining room, and small kitchen. So far I've met 2 out or the 3 roommates and they're both really nice. Also, Noa's boyfriend, Jack, came over for dinner and though I was only clinging onto wakefulness at that point it was great to see him, and to eat non-plane food.

Upon reuniting, one of the first things Noa said to me was, "So I got bored at work today and made you a list of some things to do." Great, I thought, expecting a few suggestions. What I have instead is a day-by-day schedule of what I might choose to do or who is going to be around, since Noa has to work during the week. Today's assignment is to explore Berkeley, and the sunshine streaming in this window next to me is already enticing me outside. Noa finishes work around 3 and gets back to her neighborhood at 4ish so we'll meet up then and maybe hit up yoga at 4:30 and then locate ourselves some dinner. Not too shabby. I think it's going to be a good week here.