Keep On Keeping On

Five months ago, to the day, I left home (completely terrified, I might add). Before leaving, my parents gave me a letter to be opened only after arriving in Israel. I was homesick as soon as I arrived and quickly opened the envelope to find a card filled with small pieces of home; some wax from our Shabbat candles, a few berries from the bush in our yard, a rock from the garden, one bead from a dream catcher, and a stray button found in the attic. The card was to act as a portal home whenever I needed, as well as each item representing something I could be proud of in myself. The first week was the hardest and I read that card several times. At the same time my sister, Noa, suggested I write myself two lists: one with reasons why I wanted to travel, and one with everything I liked about myself. I followed her instruction and after that point didn't look at either list or the card until...now. I can't believe it's been five months. I can't believe I did everything I set out to do. I can't believe what an amazing time I had.

Along the way I've been keeping a list of all the things I'd like to do once I got home. The final list looks a little like this:
-Cook
-Play the piano again
-Learn Hebrew
-Learn
-Grow tomatoes!
-Run
-Dance
-Make art
-Learn Spanish?
-Meditate
-Drink tea
-Be extraordinary

I can't say that I'll accomplish everything on the list, and it's subject to change and grow, but the point is that I'm home now and have a choice: I can slip into old habits or I can take what I've learned over the past five months and apply it to my life in Bangor. Just because I'm home doesn't mean the adventure has to end. Someone read me a quote in Thailand that went something like, "Instead of trying to change the world to fit our needs, perhaps we should try to change ourselves to fit the needs of the world." I admit that I don't know if I've had any impact in the world, but I can see the impact the world has had on me.

This is the end of Maineless&Aimless...for now.

Pre-Trip Nerves

I've had to say my first real good-byes in the past few days, and there are more to come. I keep being told how excited people are for me, and how jealous they are that I get to do this, but to be honest, I'm really afraid now that my departure is three days away. I'm excited too, no doubt, but this isn't like summer camp when I can come home early if I need to (which I have done before). I'm committed to five months away from the comfort of routine and predictability. In Bangor, I know what I'm doing; I'm good at my job, I've got good friends and family, and if things ever get too overwhelming I go up to the stables where I can disappear in the woods with my horse for a few hours. I crave travel and adventure, but I'm intimidated by it.

It's almost like a test, like something I have to prove to myself. Can I go off by myself to places I've never been before, with languages I don't speak, and not only survive, but thrive? My mom said she felt the same way before she left home for the first time. Maybe that's how everyone feels.

Actually, I'm not so scared of being alone in the world; what I'm most anxious about are airports. Not flying or being on airplanes, but navigating the airports, getting to the correct gate (on time), and knowing where to go. Customs, baggage claims, passport control, transfers, check-ins....what is the correct order!? I have literally studied maps of the terminals/airports I land in (which would help if I was any good at reading maps), and I know that's a little pathetic/excessive but it sort of makes me feel better. Maybe it'll be like when you have to give a presentation in class and the anticipation is worse than the actual presenting part. Maybe.

After writing this, no one's going to believe me when I say I'm excited to travel. But I am. And I do want to go. And I know it's going to be okay.

I saw this guy for the last time on Sunday.
His goodbye present to me? Ripping out a large section of his mane.
Thanks Ransom.

4 Countries, 5 Months

It is now one week before I leave. I have yet to start packing but most of my flights are booked so we're on the right track. Until you are faced with the daunting task of packing a suitcase to last you five or so months in a variety of temperature zones you really aren't aware of just how much stuff you "need." My room is currently filled with freshly-bought bags of necessities that weren't so necessary until I was going away. For those of you who know me well, I despise shopping. I'll wear clothing out, steal from my sisters, persuade my mom to buy things I need to avoid doing any shopping myself. These are not particularly noble options to begin with, but they're completely invalid when alone and away from home. So I can honestly say I've done more shopping in the past week or two than I have in months (if not longer).

Clothing becomes the least of the packing concerns. It's a simple formula of what temperatures you'll be faced with x amount of time spent in said temperature zone + type of situations expected - things that can be easily replaced abroad. Simple, yes? What's tricky is guessing how many batteries you might need. Or trying to figure out how much super strength, full of Deet, crazy poisonous bug spray you might go through in 2 months, and whether an island off the southern peninsula of Thailand is likely to carry something of the same caliber. 

The itinerary for this trip has been based around one simple idea: how far can I get on the least amount of money? I leave for Israel on December 10 and I'll be there for seven weeks. My parents lived in Israel for six years a while back so some of their old friends will house me for part of the time, and my older sister spent a year in Israel between high school and college so I have some contacts from her, too. Between these and a wonderful thing called World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF - http://www.wwoof.org/) I am thankfully spared housing costs. 

Then it's off to Scotland on the first of February where I'll meet up with my dad. My grandpa lives in Scotland and we'll be able to stay with him. My mom and little sister will be coming to Scotland later in the month, but before they do my dad and I are going to Germany for about a week. I leave Scotland before the rest of my family does and fly to California to see my most lovely older sister (HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOA!!!) for a week before it's off to Thailand!

Through Idealist.org (http://www.idealist.org/), a site courtesy of Noa, I found a volunteer program at an animal shelter that will house you in exchange for the work you put in. I e-mailed the organization without real expectation of a response, and within 24 hours I had a reply and volunteer application. It's called Lanta Animal Welfare (http://www.lantaanimalwelfare.com/) and I'll be there for about two months.
Then it's back to Noa and San Francisco for a few weeks and home to Maine!