One Last Day

Out of money and clean clothes I feel I've reached a new stage of traveller's life. Perhaps it's a good thing the weather has been rather unpleasant this weekend because if it was beautiful I'd be more tempted to go places that require money. I think Israel is doing its best to prepare me for Scotland's weather - grey days are all I've seen since arriving in Herzliya, with the exception of one afternoon stint of sunshine. I'm beginning to have trouble grasping the notion that I leave the day after tomorrow. I've been getting a little desperate to move on and start the next stage of journeying, but now that it's the day after tomorrow my brain is losing the ability to comprehend what this means. It took me weeks to adjust to the idea that I was in Israel; once the homesickness passed I would laugh to myself whenever I thought this because it just sounded so strange in my head. "Hey Ilana, whatcha doing?" "Oh, not much! Just chilling in Israel." You know when you do something that is so out of sorts of your normal life that you can't help but find it a little hilarious? It was like that.

February promises to be an interesting month in three different countries - actually four, because I'll still be in Israel in the morning of February 1st - and spent on various continents. I fly to Scotland this Wednesday afternoon, February 1st, where my Dad will pick me up from the airport and we'll stay at my Grandpa's house. After a week in Scotland my Dad and I are spending a week in Germany. Then it's back to Scotland and my Mom and little sister, Maya, are arriving on the 17th. They're staying about a week but I leave on the 22nd so I only see them a few days. For me it's off to California to see my older sister, Noa and the Pacific Ocean. This will be my first time on the western coast; I've never been farther than New York! I'm really looking forward to having a month with family. It'll be nice not having to be the one in charge all the time or responsible for figuring out how to get places and such. Also it'll be nice to not only be traveling with people, but the people I know best.

The past few days in Herzliya have been a little boring, but it's also been nice just to relax and not have to be doing something all the time. Not to mention the weather hasn't been conducive with major explorations. I've spent a lot of time with Ronit and we get along very well. It's weird that I've never met these people before, but we're family so that overrides the normal behavioral codes of strangers. On Saturday I went into Tel Aviv with Ronit and a friend for a few hours and we saw the movie, "The Artist." Please go see it if you haven't, you will love it. And then, with a few other friends, we went to a bar for a while. There's something really nice about being able to go into a bar, sit at a table with your friends, and just have a beer. None of that "let's get so wasted tonight!" attitude, though of course there are still times that's true. Pretty much the rest of my time here has been spent in an unexciting manner. I stay up late watching movies with Ronit and sleep late in the mornings. Grey weather means occupying my time trying to get organized for leaving which takes surprisingly little effort when you've only been using the very topmost layer of your suitcase. I don't know why I thought I needed such a big suitcase or so much stuff - first time travellers' folly I suppose. So now I have this oversized, unwieldy suitcase to drag around with me. Next time I travel I'm getting a backpack! And travel companion(s) - I will be accepting applications upon my return.

I still don't know if I'm going to be sad to leave or not. As a Jew, there is automatically a connection to Israel that isn't present in other countries I will visit. I've changed and grown up a lot since leaving home and I don't know if that's solely because I was forced to, or if it was partially due to being here, in Israel. My relationship with Judaism has certainly changed. The older I've gotten the more I've resented Judaism and pulled away from it, because all my life it's been something that's distanced me from those around me. I wasn't allowed to go out on Friday nights when I was younger because of Shabbat, and so it separated me from my friends. There were restrictions on what I ate and I had a Bat Mitzvah and there were certain days a year I didn't go to school for Jewish holidays. All these things made it so I never quite fit in, but here those things are exactly what unite me with the people around me and make me a part of this community. I don't feel any more religiously inclined than I did before leaving home and no, I'm not going to go to Synagogue more than I do now or refrain from using electricity on Saturdays and I still don't believe in any God. But Judaism is both a culture and a religion, and I think I can definitely draw partially from both sides in new ways that I have been resisting my whole life. I suppose all that is because I'm in Israel, but I think the ways I've grown up and become more mature and responsible are more important and simply due to traveling alone. When I think about how I could have been in college right now I am so unbelievably glad I took this year off. I'm definitely learning more than I think I could have in college, at least in respects to life and myself and all good things.

This might be my last post from Israel!