Five months ago, to the day, I left home (completely terrified, I might add). Before leaving, my parents gave me a letter to be opened only after arriving in Israel. I was homesick as soon as I arrived and quickly opened the envelope to find a card filled with small pieces of home; some wax from our Shabbat candles, a few berries from the bush in our yard, a rock from the garden, one bead from a dream catcher, and a stray button found in the attic. The card was to act as a portal home whenever I needed, as well as each item representing something I could be proud of in myself. The first week was the hardest and I read that card several times. At the same time my sister, Noa, suggested I write myself two lists: one with reasons why I wanted to travel, and one with everything I liked about myself. I followed her instruction and after that point didn't look at either list or the card until...now. I can't believe it's been five months. I can't believe I did everything I set out to do. I can't believe what an amazing time I had.
Along the way I've been keeping a list of all the things I'd like to do once I got home. The final list looks a little like this:
-Cook
-Play the piano again
-Learn Hebrew
-Learn
-Grow tomatoes!
-Run
-Dance
-Make art
-Learn Spanish?
-Meditate
-Drink tea
-Be extraordinary
I can't say that I'll accomplish everything on the list, and it's subject to change and grow, but the point is that I'm home now and have a choice: I can slip into old habits or I can take what I've learned over the past five months and apply it to my life in Bangor. Just because I'm home doesn't mean the adventure has to end. Someone read me a quote in Thailand that went something like, "Instead of trying to change the world to fit our needs, perhaps we should try to change ourselves to fit the needs of the world." I admit that I don't know if I've had any impact in the world, but I can see the impact the world has had on me.
This is the end of Maineless&Aimless...for now.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Boulder to Bangor
Today was the last day of this five month adventure, and what a wonderful last day it was. I've been in Boulder, Colorado since Sunday staying with my sister's best friend, Hannah, and her fiance, Yoni. I hadn't met Yoni before but Hannah is so kind and caring and Yoni isn't far behind. They're really lovely people to stay with. I originally planned on coming here to visit the Naropa University campus but that only took about 30 minutes out of the two days I've spent here; the remaining time was used for hikes, goats, chickens, pizza, cooking, and Harry Potter. Quite possibly the best way to end this trip.
On my flight from Tucson to Denver I sat next to a pilot (not the pilot) which ended up being quite interesting because, after being on about 20 flights, I had accumulated a couple of airplane-related questions which he answered as well as telling me all sorts of interesting flight stories from his 40 year career. Since I hadn't been to Denver Airport before and it's a bit confusing he offered to guide me to the bus I had to catch to Boulder. Thanks to him I just made my bus and would have otherwise had to wait another hour. Sometimes people are just really generous and helpful. By the time I got to Hannah and Yoni's apartment it was dark and rainy; they say Colorado has been short on rainfall this year so that was good for the state but not the most pleasant time to arrive. Still, it made the warm, dry apartment and dinner seem that much more welcoming.
Monday morning followed in Sunday's footsteps with grey skies and rain. Hannah and Yoni are part of a farm co-op where they do Monday morning shifts from about 7-9am feeding chickens and milking goats. I got up (not so) bright and early and went to work with them. It had its moments of being slightly miserable with the rain and the cold but it had some really nice moments as well when we drank fresh goat milk and played with new baby chicks and collected chicken eggs. Then when we got back to their apartment we had those eggs for breakfast and they were so delicious. There's something really satisfying about knowing where your food comes from and, better yet, collecting it yourself. I think I spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon napping and reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. With some encouragement from Hannah and Yoni, for dinner I put my new Thai cooking skills to test and we made a variation of green curry that was really good despite not having most of the authentic ingredients. Having that success with all the improvisations makes me excited to try again at home.
Today was lovely and sunny and warm at last! I think Monday was possibly the only day Maine has had nicer weather than wherever I've been. Of course I hear it's supposed to rain when I get home. We took advantage of the weather and went for a hike in the neighboring mountains. I never really think I'm going to like hiking but I always do, and today was rewarded with a better-than-usual view of surrounding mountains. Hannah and I perched on top of a peak with our picnic lunch and were joined by a lone hiker who, coincidentally, also comes from Maine. He left before we did and we took our time going back down the slope. Our actual plan had been to walk or hitch hike up to the top of Flagstaff where there's an even better view but we got a little misguided by the hiking map and ended up on a different mountain, but when we walked back down we found ourselves near the base of the road going up to Flagstaff. It was still early so we figured we might as well try to hitch a ride to the top. Pretty quickly we were picked up by a very kind older man named Arnold who took us all the way to the viewpoint. From up there you could see much farther, all the way to snow-topped mountains in the distance. On our way down we were picked up by Megan, Sarah, and their dog, Theo, who were really cool and took us almost all the way back to the apartment. I know you have to be careful hitch hiking, but I really like it and you can meet some very cool people. We finished off the day with pizza and a movie; such a lovely way to end this trip.
Tomorrow I fly home! How crazy is that? I'm really excited but I also can't believe it's been five months since I left. It doesn't feel that long. It often doesn't feel like one connected trip, either. When I flip through my camera or journals I remember all the things that have happened within the past months and it seems so amazing to me the amount one can see in a not-so-long amount of time. It always makes me wonder how much there is to see in a lifetime. Now it's time for me to go to sleep because I have to get up not unreasonably early to catch the last bus to the last airport for the last two flights home.
On my flight from Tucson to Denver I sat next to a pilot (not the pilot) which ended up being quite interesting because, after being on about 20 flights, I had accumulated a couple of airplane-related questions which he answered as well as telling me all sorts of interesting flight stories from his 40 year career. Since I hadn't been to Denver Airport before and it's a bit confusing he offered to guide me to the bus I had to catch to Boulder. Thanks to him I just made my bus and would have otherwise had to wait another hour. Sometimes people are just really generous and helpful. By the time I got to Hannah and Yoni's apartment it was dark and rainy; they say Colorado has been short on rainfall this year so that was good for the state but not the most pleasant time to arrive. Still, it made the warm, dry apartment and dinner seem that much more welcoming.
Monday morning followed in Sunday's footsteps with grey skies and rain. Hannah and Yoni are part of a farm co-op where they do Monday morning shifts from about 7-9am feeding chickens and milking goats. I got up (not so) bright and early and went to work with them. It had its moments of being slightly miserable with the rain and the cold but it had some really nice moments as well when we drank fresh goat milk and played with new baby chicks and collected chicken eggs. Then when we got back to their apartment we had those eggs for breakfast and they were so delicious. There's something really satisfying about knowing where your food comes from and, better yet, collecting it yourself. I think I spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon napping and reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. With some encouragement from Hannah and Yoni, for dinner I put my new Thai cooking skills to test and we made a variation of green curry that was really good despite not having most of the authentic ingredients. Having that success with all the improvisations makes me excited to try again at home.
Today was lovely and sunny and warm at last! I think Monday was possibly the only day Maine has had nicer weather than wherever I've been. Of course I hear it's supposed to rain when I get home. We took advantage of the weather and went for a hike in the neighboring mountains. I never really think I'm going to like hiking but I always do, and today was rewarded with a better-than-usual view of surrounding mountains. Hannah and I perched on top of a peak with our picnic lunch and were joined by a lone hiker who, coincidentally, also comes from Maine. He left before we did and we took our time going back down the slope. Our actual plan had been to walk or hitch hike up to the top of Flagstaff where there's an even better view but we got a little misguided by the hiking map and ended up on a different mountain, but when we walked back down we found ourselves near the base of the road going up to Flagstaff. It was still early so we figured we might as well try to hitch a ride to the top. Pretty quickly we were picked up by a very kind older man named Arnold who took us all the way to the viewpoint. From up there you could see much farther, all the way to snow-topped mountains in the distance. On our way down we were picked up by Megan, Sarah, and their dog, Theo, who were really cool and took us almost all the way back to the apartment. I know you have to be careful hitch hiking, but I really like it and you can meet some very cool people. We finished off the day with pizza and a movie; such a lovely way to end this trip.
Tomorrow I fly home! How crazy is that? I'm really excited but I also can't believe it's been five months since I left. It doesn't feel that long. It often doesn't feel like one connected trip, either. When I flip through my camera or journals I remember all the things that have happened within the past months and it seems so amazing to me the amount one can see in a not-so-long amount of time. It always makes me wonder how much there is to see in a lifetime. Now it's time for me to go to sleep because I have to get up not unreasonably early to catch the last bus to the last airport for the last two flights home.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
North, South, East, Left?
Tomorrow I head from Arizona to Colorado, my last stop on this insane journey. Also a chance to start thinking about re-entering society and all that good stuff because part of the reason I'm going there is to look at a college I might consider transfering to should University of Maine prove itself disappointing. I'm feeling pretty happy with UMaine at this point; all that superficial college drama has sort of faded out of my mind because I know what I'm interested in studying and also any experience is going to be what I make of it so why put an unnecessary negative twist on something I haven't even tried yet? I filled out my class selection form while I was in California with a pretty positive attitude despite the strangeness I felt thinking about university while my body was still in Thailand's time zone. Upon returning home I have still to look forward to scholarship applications and a math placement exam (I don't remember any math!), just in case the contrast between travel and home wasn't seemingly big enough already.
Okay that's enough about college and things I have to do...allow me to enlighten you on Tucson, Arizona within the extent of my experiences. First of all, left and right do not exist here. If you want to describe where something is or even what side of the road it's on you use north, south, east, and west. I can't tell if people here truly feel what direction they are facing in or if they just are familiar with the orientations written on street signs. I was reading about a language that functions this way, without any left or right, and those who spoke it could automatically orient themselves no matter where you put them in the world. Wouldn't that be a good skill for hikers and campers! Tucson itself is geographically interesting because it is surrounded on all four sides by mountains. Today we went towards the southwestern ones, yesterday it was east (and maybe north?) to Mt. Lemmon. However my first day, Thursday, was mountain-free. Carol, Richard, their grandson, Quinn, and his partner, Chris, took me to a few museums where I got a good cultural history of this area and especially the Native American tribes who lived here first. The five of us went up Mt. Lemmon together on Friday as well. At the base of this mountain you are surrounded by desert shrubs and cacti, but by the time your 9000 feet up you find yourself in a Maine-like, pine forest complete with snow in the winter and a stream. How cool is that? Feeling too hot one day? No problem! Just drive an hour or so out and up and you'll find yourself in an entirely different temperature zone. That's my kind of winter. Really, this forest was so reminiscent of Acadia National Park back home that I kept expecting to see the ocean around every turn. Today we drove southwest to the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, and by museum they really mean outdoor, environment, nature park, zoo, desert wonderland. It's set up with exhibits of animals native to this area and as you follow the path you are surrounded on either side with all the native plants and there are volunteers wandering around who stop to point out an otherwise invisible caterpillar or an owl that mimics the sound of a rattlesnake. It's really a very nice place to explore and learn all about Arizona's habitat. They have these animals that look like pigs but aren't remotely related called Javelinas and I really like them. I might have been sold at the way the name feels to say, but watching them was mesmerizing. I have definitely gotten my immersion in Arizona and Southwest culture in the past few days.
In between learning about Native American origin stories and the way a rattlesnake's rattle works, I've been learning a lot about my Dad from Carol. My Dad has no siblings or any family that knew him when he was younger that we could hear embarassing or interesting stories from, but he and Carol have been friends since the 60's and she's painted a very different image of him in my mind. When my Dad tells us stories about his life they are often in disconnected snippets with no way of forming any chronological order, no way to understand what inspired what. Besides hearing about my Dad's past as a cat lover, as someone who helped build the still standing wall in their backyard, as a man who swam in their pool (but he can't swim!?), Carol also has her own versions of his stories that create a time and context to each event. Putting the pieces together brings an altered image of my Dad to mind and it's so interesting for me because his life was far from typical and yet, besides what anecdotes and stories he shares in the unorganized fashion, I don't know if there's anyone but Carol who can give them greater validity or strength.
What with all the talk concerning my Dad and going to go look at a college, it feels as if I'm being eased back into some ideas of home. I don't think I would have handled Bangkok to Bangor very gracefully but this way of meandering home is transitioning well. To be honest I still miss Thailand a lot and think of it often. I've sort of given up my hopes of adopting an animal at this moment since I don't really have the money and it seems a bit selfish to bring an animal across continents when there are so many local animals that are in need right now; not that I'm really in a position to save any of those at this moment either, I've got a couple of cats and a dog to go home to as is. Besides loving some of the animals at the shelter greatly, to shock one with a move to Maine and completely different environment would possibly be more for my benefit and want of a reminder of Thailand than for their own well being. Anyways, I am really looking forward to coming home. I'm also bouncing between that and apprehensions about coming home. While there are certain things I know I can rely on, I still find my mind working itself up now and then with thoughts about whether or not I'll still have friends or if it's going to be like last summer or if, or what if, or will it, or....excessively. But what control do I have over those things, especially from where I am now? The adventure isn't over yet, it's too soon to worry.
Okay that's enough about college and things I have to do...allow me to enlighten you on Tucson, Arizona within the extent of my experiences. First of all, left and right do not exist here. If you want to describe where something is or even what side of the road it's on you use north, south, east, and west. I can't tell if people here truly feel what direction they are facing in or if they just are familiar with the orientations written on street signs. I was reading about a language that functions this way, without any left or right, and those who spoke it could automatically orient themselves no matter where you put them in the world. Wouldn't that be a good skill for hikers and campers! Tucson itself is geographically interesting because it is surrounded on all four sides by mountains. Today we went towards the southwestern ones, yesterday it was east (and maybe north?) to Mt. Lemmon. However my first day, Thursday, was mountain-free. Carol, Richard, their grandson, Quinn, and his partner, Chris, took me to a few museums where I got a good cultural history of this area and especially the Native American tribes who lived here first. The five of us went up Mt. Lemmon together on Friday as well. At the base of this mountain you are surrounded by desert shrubs and cacti, but by the time your 9000 feet up you find yourself in a Maine-like, pine forest complete with snow in the winter and a stream. How cool is that? Feeling too hot one day? No problem! Just drive an hour or so out and up and you'll find yourself in an entirely different temperature zone. That's my kind of winter. Really, this forest was so reminiscent of Acadia National Park back home that I kept expecting to see the ocean around every turn. Today we drove southwest to the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, and by museum they really mean outdoor, environment, nature park, zoo, desert wonderland. It's set up with exhibits of animals native to this area and as you follow the path you are surrounded on either side with all the native plants and there are volunteers wandering around who stop to point out an otherwise invisible caterpillar or an owl that mimics the sound of a rattlesnake. It's really a very nice place to explore and learn all about Arizona's habitat. They have these animals that look like pigs but aren't remotely related called Javelinas and I really like them. I might have been sold at the way the name feels to say, but watching them was mesmerizing. I have definitely gotten my immersion in Arizona and Southwest culture in the past few days.
In between learning about Native American origin stories and the way a rattlesnake's rattle works, I've been learning a lot about my Dad from Carol. My Dad has no siblings or any family that knew him when he was younger that we could hear embarassing or interesting stories from, but he and Carol have been friends since the 60's and she's painted a very different image of him in my mind. When my Dad tells us stories about his life they are often in disconnected snippets with no way of forming any chronological order, no way to understand what inspired what. Besides hearing about my Dad's past as a cat lover, as someone who helped build the still standing wall in their backyard, as a man who swam in their pool (but he can't swim!?), Carol also has her own versions of his stories that create a time and context to each event. Putting the pieces together brings an altered image of my Dad to mind and it's so interesting for me because his life was far from typical and yet, besides what anecdotes and stories he shares in the unorganized fashion, I don't know if there's anyone but Carol who can give them greater validity or strength.
What with all the talk concerning my Dad and going to go look at a college, it feels as if I'm being eased back into some ideas of home. I don't think I would have handled Bangkok to Bangor very gracefully but this way of meandering home is transitioning well. To be honest I still miss Thailand a lot and think of it often. I've sort of given up my hopes of adopting an animal at this moment since I don't really have the money and it seems a bit selfish to bring an animal across continents when there are so many local animals that are in need right now; not that I'm really in a position to save any of those at this moment either, I've got a couple of cats and a dog to go home to as is. Besides loving some of the animals at the shelter greatly, to shock one with a move to Maine and completely different environment would possibly be more for my benefit and want of a reminder of Thailand than for their own well being. Anyways, I am really looking forward to coming home. I'm also bouncing between that and apprehensions about coming home. While there are certain things I know I can rely on, I still find my mind working itself up now and then with thoughts about whether or not I'll still have friends or if it's going to be like last summer or if, or what if, or will it, or....excessively. But what control do I have over those things, especially from where I am now? The adventure isn't over yet, it's too soon to worry.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
CA-AZ-CO-ME...GO!
Hello from Arizona! I've just arrived today to spend four days with my Dad's old friends, Carol and Richard who are both extremely cool and incredibly welcoming. Also they have a massive poodle who is doing his best to fill in the absence I still feel after leaving behind 30 dogs in Thailand. Arizona seems beautiful from what little I've seen of it. We're in Tucson and it's wonderful seeing mountains in every direction and cacti lining the streets. Carol and Richard's house is really lovely and filled with art, of which the majority is Carol's, as well as being furnished with a chicken coop filled with 10 chickens, a pool converted into a Koi pond, and several fruit trees and vegetable plants we use for dinner purposes. I've only met Carol and Richard once before when they came to visit us in Maine but I liked them then and I like them now; I think it's going to be really nice spending the next few days here.
As for the second half of my time in California, it was much nicer than my first half. With some help from melatonin I was roughly able to fix my sleep schedule. Noa came home Sunday afternoon and we had some good time together, but it wasn't until Tuesday, my last night there, that we were able to hang out just the two of us. We cooked and watched movies and talked and it's nice knowing she'll come visit Maine in August unlike the typical scenario of, "Well I'm sure I'll see you again and hopefully sooner rather than later." I really do love getting to see my sister and it's not often enough. It's funny because for most of my childhood I have very little recollection of her but then we suddenly became friends, and now she's someone I confide in a lot. After we said goodbye and I left for the airport I felt a bit like I could just go straight home, but now that I'm here in Arizona I'm really happy to be here and do all the cool things Carol and Richard have been describing.
But I am also getting excited to come home. It'll be so nice just to be in my space in my house with my family and my friends and my animals and my neighborhood. Is it any wonder my first word as a baby was "mine?" So I'll be here until Sunday, and then it's off to Colorado, and then I'll be home next Wednesday night. What's that? Yes, a week from today, precisely. Get ready, Bangor.
As for the second half of my time in California, it was much nicer than my first half. With some help from melatonin I was roughly able to fix my sleep schedule. Noa came home Sunday afternoon and we had some good time together, but it wasn't until Tuesday, my last night there, that we were able to hang out just the two of us. We cooked and watched movies and talked and it's nice knowing she'll come visit Maine in August unlike the typical scenario of, "Well I'm sure I'll see you again and hopefully sooner rather than later." I really do love getting to see my sister and it's not often enough. It's funny because for most of my childhood I have very little recollection of her but then we suddenly became friends, and now she's someone I confide in a lot. After we said goodbye and I left for the airport I felt a bit like I could just go straight home, but now that I'm here in Arizona I'm really happy to be here and do all the cool things Carol and Richard have been describing.
But I am also getting excited to come home. It'll be so nice just to be in my space in my house with my family and my friends and my animals and my neighborhood. Is it any wonder my first word as a baby was "mine?" So I'll be here until Sunday, and then it's off to Colorado, and then I'll be home next Wednesday night. What's that? Yes, a week from today, precisely. Get ready, Bangor.
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