A Traveler's Nemesis: Jetlag

Thanks to my dear friend, Jetlag, day is officially night and vice versa. So while it's 3:43am and sleep is nowhere in sight I feel I might as well write a little. When I wrote last time I said that I felt like I was waiting for a real shock that had yet to hit...well today it hit. While it probably doesn't help that my sleep pattern is beyond messed up, I feel so disoriented and so out of place here in California. Also, my sister is away this weekend which may also contribute because I'm alone in her bedroom in her apartment with her roommates. This is difficult for me to explain because I don't want to come across as if I'm not looking forward to returning home in a week and a half, but I just really miss Thailand right now. I'm still talking to all my friends from there and going through pictures and answering questions in a way that might make others understand what it was like there as well as trying to process the whole experience myself. I realize I don't have to accomplish that in the two or three days since I've left, but I am so wrapped around those memories that whenever someone talks to me about going home I want to tell them that they're mistaken, I'm not going home soon, I've just left it. I feel so torn in the directions of Maine, where I'm headed, and Thailand, where I've been, that I feel like I'm nowhere at all at the moment. I'm turning my head from side to side across the globe; what direction should I be facing in?

Whenever I do sleep I dream of Thailand. It's more of playing back memories than actually dreaming. I lay in bed today in an unmotivated heap and rose only to go through photos of the past two months. I haven't even changed my travel clock to the correct time zone yet because I like knowing what time it is there so I might imagine what's going on at the shelter. I guess I just don't want to make it a past event yet; I loved what it felt like to be there. There were so many times I'd be riding around with someone, just looking up or out, and begin thinking, "I love..." and have no need to attempt to finish the sentence because the love wasn't attached to one specific piece of the moment but everything about where I was and who I was and what I was doing right then in that beautiful, beautiful place. Without a doubt there were days when I'd be fed up with someone or something but those were overall the most brilliant two months. 

It's not that I'm not looking forward to going home. I'm just not able to look forward to it right now because I'm still so caught up in where I just was. Whenever I try to explain this feeling to anyone I meet the responses of, "You'll be fine;" "You'll travel again and fall in love with other places;" "But isn't it nice how you have so many contacts around the world now?" All are true and I'm aware of each, but right now I would trade this comfortable bed, flushing toilet, and hot shower for an immeasurably sweaty day walking dogs along the beach, cuddling with my cat, Julia, and burning my mouth on spicy Thai food with my friends at dinner. It should be noted that I am extremely jetlagged.

Thailand Says, "Not So Fast!"

As if "my last day on Lanta" didn't carry enough negative connotation, the day was filled almost entirely with unpleasantries. I suppose I should first mention that for about three days at this point I'd had a painfully swollen ankle that I didn't think much of. Come Tuesday I was meant to work my last shift from 1-7pm, but by noon I had a fever and was panicking that I was leaving the next day for a solid 45 hours of travel. Then the vet saw my ankle and told me it looked infected. Great, I thought, obviously this had to happen my last day. My best friend at the shelter, Miriam, took me to the clinic where they confirmed that it was infected because I had scratched a mosquito bite and, being on my foot, dirt had gotten in. That was why I had a fever and, just to make me feel worse, several other bites were starting to become infected. The first one was clearly the worst and had formed an abscess which she said they ought to open today or it would just become worse over the next few days. So here I am in Thailand, my last day, lying in a hospital with my foot numbed up so they can squeeze out all the pus...awesome. Not exactly my hopes for the day, but after they cleaned it out and gave me some antibiotics I felt so much better and decided to work the last half of my shift. I wasn't allowed to walk so I was doing chores around the shelter when in came another volunteer and we got into an unintentional argument. Unintentional on my half at least, but as she's been very disrespectful to myself and several other volunteers over the past weeks I wasn't afraid to defend myself or give her a piece of my mind once she had a go at me. Later that evening Batman the cat chewed apart my headphones right before I'm supposed to spend a good 16 hours getting to Bangkok across land. The day ended off with a nice dinner with all of the people I like, but these antibiotics I'm taking four times a day take away my appetite so I wasn't really able to enjoy my last meal on Lanta. Let's just pretend Thailand was trying to slow me down so that it might hold me in its arms a while longer.

The journey from Koh Lanta to San Francisco encompassed almost every form of transportation: from pick-up truck to mini van to ferries to overnight bus to taxi to airplanes to subway to Noa's house. For such an intensely long journey it wasn't as difficult as I was expecting and I met some very nice people along the way. I left at 2pm and got to Bangkok at about 5am. The overnight bus might well be the most uncomfortable thing I've ever experienced, and the bus employee kept asking me if I was going to Bangkok. Yes, I am going to Bangkok...that is why I am on the bus labeled "to Bangkok." I thought I'd be able to get a bus from the station to the airport, but the Bangkok bus station is really just a humongous parking lot filled with buses and lacking any signs or information booths that I could see. But it's very possible they were there and I just couldn't see them because I couldn't even see where or how to get out. By the time I made my way to the road a taxi seemed like a better choice and I got to the airport at 6am for a 12:20pm flight. Still, with my ankle it would have been impossible to run for my connection in the previous game plan. I met a nice, older French-Chinese man here who was also alone. The suitcase I borrowed from my Mom has a French flag for an ID tag and he thought I might also be from France. After I explained that I didn't he hopefully asked, "Well do you speak French anyways?" and I pulled out what rusty French skills I contain from high school and we had a lovely, grammatically incorrect conversation which ended with him inviting me to Paris and giving me his name, address, phone number, and e-mail...I think he means it.

The flight was fine; I got to watch my first movie in two months! I arrived in Taipei with a four hour layover and within the first hour met Felix. After we found out we were both flying to San Francisco we were instantly friends and spent hours laughing and exploring the Taipei airport, making use of its free massage chairs in the relaxation room, free cake samples, free internet, art gallery and small museum. It was undoubtedly the most fun I've had in an airport. The 11 hour flight to San Francisco stretched on and on and I was so happy to arrive and see my sister. I feel like I'm waiting for a major shock to hit about leaving Thailand but so far it's just been little surprises, like traffic and hot showers. I did feel a bit out of place on the BART subway in my brightly colored Thai pants which seemed even brighter against a background of denim jeans, but they're where I've been and what I've done and who I am and I'm going to wear them regardless.

It's a good thing I've already been to Berkeley and done a fair bit of exploring here because I'm not supposed to walk on my foot for a week. By the time I head to Arizona it should be fine. It's really bizarre to me that I'm going to be home in less than two weeks. It feels so close and that makes me feel so far away from Thailand and the home I created there. I do and I will miss all my pets there, but it was hardest saying good bye to the people. I know it won't be the last time I see some of them, though. Meagan from Canada invited me there this July to volunteer at a music festival with her and I plan on going. I feel sure that I'll see Miriam again whether it be in New Zealand, Germany, Ireland, Maine or somewhere completely new and unexplored. And I know if I'm ever in the UK, Sweden, or Australia I have people to visit. Now I just need to begin convincing my parents to let me adopt Julia, my cat, or Michael, my dog, from Thailand (please?).

BKK to SFO

I'm in disbelief that two months have passed since I've arrived in Thailand. Clearly someone is playing a practical joke here and has fiddled with all the calendars because eight weeks couldn't possibly have passed that quickly. Do I really have to leave tomorrow?

After the whole flight fiasco in which all my flights had to change to a day earlier I realized that my new flight from Krabi to Bangkok left me under two hours to get my luggage and re-check in. My last time in Bangkok I had 2 1/2 hours and cut every line, ran like mad, and still only just made my flight. I got the last seat on the last available flight towards California for about a week and I'm not really prepared to chance missing it, so I'm blowing off my flight from Krabi to Bangkok and taking the ever-glamorous overnight bus straight to Bangkok. I am not terribly excited to sit on a bus for 16+ hours, but I'd be less excited to stress and run around Bangkok Airport and maybe miss my flight.

In between re-arranging trip details I've been trying to enjoy my last few days on Lanta as much as possible, but I've been working a lot and it's been alternating very hot or very rainy so nothing of too much excitement has gone on since I last wrote. I did my free cooking class at Time For Lime restaurant on Friday with Tilly (with delicious results). I've been collecting souvenirs for people back home. I've been drying off cats when the isolation room floods. I've been sweeping kennels and walking dogs on the beach. I've been avoiding spiders, snakes, and frogs unsuccessfully. I've been eating nothing but Greek and Thai food. I've been hanging out with some very wonderful people. How am I supposed to leave this island? What will I do without dozens of eagles flying overhead and a selection of cats constantly filtering in and out of my room? Granted, now that we've transitioned into low season the island is much quieter but there's nothing wrong with that. Needless to say, I'm going to miss this place.

It so happens that our manager, Jon, is resigning mid-May and we are currently looking for a replacement. If you know anyone that might be interested please pass this along: http://www.lantaanimalwelfare.com/

I expect this will be the last post from Thailand. I'll be home in just over two weeks! But first it's back to California to see my sister one more time.

Fish Are Friends

Where do I start with the past few days? They have been so busy in the most wonderful ways. Now that my time on Koh Lanta is coming to an end I've got to do all the things I thought I still had time for. One of my flights changed and it turned into a bit of a fiasco where everything had to change and I could either fly home a week later or the day before. I took the last seat on the plane for the day before so I'm leaving Lanta next Wednesday now. I have eight more nights here and it's freaking me out how much I know I'm going to miss this place.

Since I last wrote I've experienced Songkran, the Thai new year, gone kayaking in the mangroves (which isn't as cool as it sounds), went snorkeling for the first time, and had the last proper Why Not Bar night before a few band members left, among other things. Friday was Songkran and it was brilliant. Imagine an island-wide water fight where everyone participates. For this one day kids and adults are equally armed with plastic water guns. We are merciless but with no hard feelings; we wish you well, we wish you a happy new year, that's why we're soaking you in freezing cold water, obviously. About 10 of us clambered into the back of the shelter's van with water guns ready. I think we were all imagining spraying innocent pedestrians but it was an entirely different battle scene that we faced. Jon, our manager, was driving and outside most stores and restaurants were gangs of friends and families armed with buckets of water. We'd be spraying them with all our might and they simply would pour an entire bucket of water over us - slightly more effective than our cheap guns. By the time we got to Saladan, a normally 10 minute drive that took at least 30 minutes, we were completely soaked. Here we all got out an engaged in intensely friendly warfare. People just coming off the ferry were not spared; with a happy, "Welcome to Lanta! Happy New Year!" they were drenched in our icy water. Besides spraying people with water, it's also typical to make a paste of talcum powder, water, and food dye and smear this lovingly across your enemies' faces. We went from simply wet to practically tie-dyed and then back again as more water was dumped on us. I had to work part of the morning shift so I got a little bit of a late start but I was still involved for a solid 7 or 8 hours. By the end, though, once the sun went down, a little of the fun wore off. Then you're left just freezing cold; that was the first night my shower actually felt warm in comparison to my body temperature. It was probably the most fun holiday I've ever experienced, but one day was enough unlike the five days in bigger cities like Bangkok.

Today was my day off and Tilly and I went snorkeling. We were supposed to do that last Thursday but the people we booked our day trip with never showed up for us so instead we went to the east side of the island and went kayaking through the mangroves. Essentially this guy put us in a kayak, gave us each a paddle, and said, "Okay, well have fun!" There's no route, you just paddle as far as you like and then turn and paddle back but the current makes it quite difficult. It was cool for the first five minutes but then the landscape is exactly the same. We did an hour or so and both our shoulders were aching by the end. Definitely today was a much better day off. We went on a one day tour to four islands. I've never snorkeled before but it was unbelievable. The first island was alright and had a fair amount of fish but nothing extraordinary. The second island had Emerald Cave where you swim through a dark tunnel and come into a small but beautiful beach with massive cliffs rising up around us. Emerald Cave is the only way in and out of that beach. The third island was where we had lunch and hung out on the beach. Picture white sand and clear, turquoise water. This was a place out of a paradise brochure. Finally the fourth island was for snorkeling again and it was truly unbelievable. It was just like Finding Nemo; I was in the middle of hundreds of fish of all different kinds. It's like a highway for all the different schools. I was the last one back on the boat; I didn't want to leave my fish friends.

As for the Why Not Bar and band, since high season is pretty much over now a few of the members are leaving Koh Lanta. A couple of us from the shelter went to enjoy their last night and it was such fun. I keep using the word "fun" to describe things but, really, that's what Thailand has been like: a lot of fun. That was Sunday night and coincided with the last night of a few of the volunteers. The vets and two volunteers, Sam and Mitch, are over in Phi Phi right now doing a massive sterlization of every cat on the island. None of the other islands have shelters like this and it shows in the population of animals and their overall health. Sam and Mitch won't be coming back after Phi Phi and Julia, one of the vets, is also flying home to Brazil from there. It's quite a different atmosphere with those three gone. And tonight is the last night for Justin and Meagan. The worst thing about saying goodbye to all these wonderful people is that I may never see any of them again. It's like graduation but with people I like.

So what's left in the next week before I go? I'm doing a cooking class on Friday. The owner of the animal shelter is also the owner of Time For Lime restaurant and cooking school and volunteers who stay at least a month get one free class. I also want to get souvenirs for some people with whatever money remains. I still haven't got a bike but I may rent one just for a day or so that I might do some last minute exploring perhaps in the Old Town.

In truth I'm also really excited that I'll be home in three weeks.

Tsunami

"There's a tsunami warning. We have to leave right now."
Up to our wrists in the fish we were deboning, our faces all reflected the same word, "What?" Followed by, "Really?" Followed by "Oh my God." We knew nothing except that we had to get to high ground. We had minutes to pack a backpack with valuables and leave. It was heartbreaking but we had to leave the animals in their enclosures; despite our protests it was insisted that we get ourselves somewhere safe, find our more facts, and then see what can be done.

"There's been an 8.7 earthquake off the coast of Indonesia, roughly the same spot that destroyed this island years ago."
Images of Japan were flashing through my head and for several moments I really thought we were goners. Mimmi, our 11-year old volunteer, was in tears and I would have been close behind her if it wasn't for the worry about the animals and how we could save them. High ground for us was only about a five minute walk up hill and we could see the shelter.

"We have two hours before it's supposed to hit us."
Should I be writing a will? Should I be calling my parents? It was too early to call them and I didn't want to cause unnecessary panic because we still didn't know what would happen or what the effects on this island would be so I settled for an e-mail. But two hours meant we had time to focus our energies on the animals. We took all the sick cats out of isolation and put them in the van and drove that to the top of the hill. We took the little puppy, Tey, because he's quite small and inable. We took Denver because he's been sick and hooked up to fluids and is on the weak side. We took Shao Lee because she's in quarantine and doesn't go out with the other dogs. We took Vinny because he's scared and acts aggressively as such. All our sweet, wonderful, healthy animals were left in their enclosures but every one of us was prepared to run back down to the shelter and release them should waves be seen. Up on our hill we had a view of the ocean and every eye was glued to it. Our eyes played tricks on us and every shadow was a growing wave headed our way.

"I just looked online and we're supposed to be hit at 6:49."
"What time is it now?"
"6:44"
Five minutes...until what? It was the not knowing that kept us on edge. Straining our eyes, we searched the horizon for some indicator of damage coming for us but the ocean seemed quite calm. 6:49 came and went and we began wondering if we could head back down. We could hear dogs howling from up on the hill and the cats were surely wondering why their dinner was almost two hours late.

"There may be after shocks that could be worse. You shouldn't leave yet."
We waited a while longer before giving our phone number to some people on the hill with the instruction to call us should any waves come along. We had hurried up the hill full of fear, but we trooped back down with gratitude, as well as a truck full of sick cats and a motley crew of dogs. Denver was fast asleep in my arms, poor dog. He really got unlucky and besides having a blood parasite, he now also has an infected bite wound and an abcess. It's hard being the runt of the pack.

Every volunteer pulled their weight getting the animals in their kennels and fed that evening. For an anti-climactic ending we couldn't have been more relieved. There hasn't been a tsunami warning here in years so it really took everyone by surprise. I've never been in a situation before where I had minutes to pack a bag with my most important belongings - everything else I was prepared to lose, really. I took my phone and charger, iPod, journals, camera, money, passport/important documents, and water. While it ended up not affecting us at all (except for a 10 centimeter wave that the island handled very well), in those moments we had no idea - that was what was hardest, we just had no clue what was going on when we left. People died last time; this island was wrecked last time. We got extremely lucky and I think we're all very grateful and so so happy that the animals are okay and only suffered a bit of hunger. The thought of leaving them behind, trapped, was what was hardest. Forget clothes, forget belongings, but for the lives of all those dogs we were prepared to return at the smallest indicator of danger to free them.

I wish I could say all's well that end's well, but after the tsunami warning was removed we had a dog brought to us that had been killed on the road, a dog we had adopted out from here. Immediately following was a cat hit by a motorbike that we had to put down. Today a dog was intentionally shot and died as our vet was trying to save it. I know we're seeing the worst of it here, but lately it just feels like we're losing more lives than we save. We had a batch of kittens dropped off yesterday as well that I've been told are very sick. I'm not even planning on looking at them because I know they're going to be put down. It's difficult here. You work hard, physically, and then you work even harder, emotionally. In the end you just have to train yourself to remain as unattached as possible. Of course when there are happy endings it's wonderful, and whenever one needs a reminder of why we put ourselves through this you need only enter one of the dog areas and be greeted by several wagging tails and happy faces.

Unsuccess and Laughter (Four Months Abroad)

April 10
On March 10 I was in Thailand.
On February 10 I was in Scotland.
On January 10 I was in Israel.
On December 10 I was in transit - it's my four month anniversary abroad!

Hmm, how should I celebrate? Maybe a nice night spent sleeping in the shelter with the dogs. At least it can't be worse than last week's.

Just a quick update for today:
-I'm not going to Nepal I've decided. It would be extraordinarily tight with money and the timing doesn't work so well for me. But the idea is there and with any luck I will, one day, go to Nepal.
-I'm going to Arizona! Instead of spending a week and a half in California without a lot to do I'm dividing the time between there and with some old friends' of my dad who live in Arizona. I really like the woman, Carol, and she's a horse lady as well. I haven't actually told her or anyone that I've decided to do this so if you're reading this, Carol (and also my parents), I hope it's still alright for me to come.
-I have the worst shorts tan ever. It's really embarrassing going to the beach, and yet that's my only chance of fixing it.
-I almost had pizza the other day at what I've been told is the one decent pizza place on the island but it was closed. As much as I love Thai food I'd really like some pizza.
-I'd also really like to watch Harry Potter. And I am aware how dorky that may be, but the other night at dinner the tv within sight played a commercial with Harry Potter clips and it was more exciting than it should have been.
-The cat I've been helping force feed with a syringe five times a day was just put down after close to a month of fighting cat flu. I'm quite upset about this; I really believed she was going to get better.
-Someone brought us a one-eyed, white dog named Blackie. We used to have a black dog here called Blackie but he went to Manchester.
-My favorite cat here is Julia. She was attacked by a dog (or hit by a motorbike, depending on who you ask) and one of her back legs suffered some nerve damage so she limps and skitters around, seemingly unaware of any disability that might prevent her from rough housing with the other cats or chasing small creatures - she has a brilliant attitude on life. She was attempting to mutilate my books the other day (how dare she) so I gave her a roll of toilet paper and she had the time of her life.
-I am still bikeless and enjoying the benefits of not paying for petrol and being able to properly gaze at my surroundings frpm the back of others' bikes.
-I'm not celebrating Pesach (Passover) this year. It's just not really something I can do here. I also ate my first Easter egg a few days ago.
-I'm going snorkeling this Thursday with Tilly who is also also attempting to teach me a Welsh accent to great unsuccess and great laughter.
-This Friday is Songkran, the Thai new year. It's mainly celebrated by dumping water on anyone and everyone which seems a bit wasteful to me but who am I to go against customs and traditions?
-I finished Eat, Pray, Love and loved it and now need to travel to Italy, India, and Indonesia. I also now need to find another book, but if that's the biggest problem I'm faced with then that's just fine by me.
-I filled up my first journal which I have never done before, but I've also never travelled and had things I really wanted to write down. Luckily I brought a second journal for just the occasion and christened it with a Thai bumper sticker and my broken anklet.
-I'm really dirty most of the time and it doesn't matter how many (cold) showers you take. Clearly if I think I smell much better after putting on bugspray we have a problem. Also my bag is falling apart and my hair looks like it's on the verge of dreadlocking itself. I haven't brushed it in...months? And now I'm both too afraid to and also curious about what its state will be at the end of the journey.
-Which brings me to...I'll be home in less than a month. I can never decide whether to use "only" or "already" when I say I've been gone four months.

This feels like home. Even, or especially, my impatience with it makes it feel like home just because that is the result of familiarity. It's like when you get to know someone and they may seem really cool and ideal at first but the more you get to know them the more you become aware of the insecurities and personality traits that weren't apparent at first glance, but without those you wouldn't truly know the person.
It also feels like home because of the people. It's like being in a family, what with all the various ages and experiences and stages of life. The age range is 18-39 and we all get on quite lovingly. It will be sad to see a few people go next week but I'm also leaving the week after which is absolute madness. I think I'm out of words for today but chances are there'll be more in a few days. Cheers (the English have gotten to me)

Pre-Dinner Post

I know I constantly remark on this...but I can't believe how fast time is going by. We're already one week into April. I'm supposed to fly back to the US in less than three weeks. I'm due to be home in just over one month. I remember at the 2 1/2 month point thinking, "Really? I'm only half way through?" with a tone of exasperation. Before I got on my flight to Thailand I spent the entire day brooding over the fact that I was flying in the wrong direction of home. And now it's not that I resent the idea of going home and seeing all the wonderful people and familiarity of Bangor, it's just that I feel like I have so many more places I want to go right now and possibly I am a little bit resenting the idea of the familiarity of Bangor. I spent so long planning my get away and now I'm living that adventure, but what will I do once it's over? I don't want to slip back into that bored, predictable way of life where I'm probably one of three places or with one of three people. However I remember writing back in December or January, prompted by a conversation with Danny (Hi Danny!), that I hoped I'd be able to keep the same sense of excitement and interest and curiosity and adventure with me even when back home and surrounded by that which I know so well. I suppose there's only one way to put this theory into practice and that is by returning home, and yet that argument is sounding weaker and weaker.

Actually I've been putting that into practice here on Lanta to a degree. After a month here I know this place quite well. It's a rather small island that has gained some predictability the more time I spend here. I loved getting to know it, but now I feel so comfortable with it that, if I had the flexibility, I would consider it time to move on. I don't mean to be restless or hard to please, but there's just so much more I want to see and it all seems so close and completely unattainable all at once. Sometimes I feel a little bit like a faker amongst some truer travellers; the kind of travellers who show up at a destination with no accomodations set up or plans for where to go or any contacts of any sort. So impulsive! Though after flipping back through some of my earlier journal entries, if I hadn't had my flights booked I definitely would have attempted to chicken out a few months back. This is what was best for me and my first real adventure.

As for what's been going on since I last wrote it doesn't feel like too much. Poison dog lived and went home to her very happy family. They even brought the shelter a huge bucket of candy as an extra thank you. We still have the cutest puppy in the world, Tey, and it appears no one will be claiming him. However, our vet, Dr. Tey (puppy Tey's namesake) is considering adopting him. I do believe that would require a name change. Justin and Meagan returned from Penang with my money! So I can happily live out my remaining weeks on Lanta with more than what I had last month. I am prepared to blow off my remaining Baht in Saladan during my last week here. Unless I go to Nepal in which case I will save save save. Nepal! Nothing is planned but also nothing is totally out of the picture. I don't really think I can afford it but I might possibily have enough to scrape by and come home dirt poor (which wouldn't be the worst thing ever. And I'm already half way around the world, right?).

I also had the worst sleep-in ever on Wednesday night. I guess I can't even call it a sleep in since I didn't get any sleep all night. It started with the biggest rain storm I've seen on Lanta. Miriam, Tilly and I were sitting outside watching it when we realized the kitchen might be leaking a bit and maybe we should move a few appliances. It wasn't leaking a bit - it was all out flooding. The pull out bed for sleep-ins was soaked, all our food was drowning, and the toaster was suspiciously filling up with water which caused a few tense moments when someone had to unplug it. We were helpless but to put every bucket, pail, pot, pan, and mug about to catch the water and mop out what was spilling across the floor. By 11:30 the rain stopped and we sighed a breath of relief. Tilly and Miriam headed to bed and I began putting things back in order. Bad idea. The rain started again and I was by myself trying to fight the water until 1am, unable to do anything but mop out water until the rain should cease. At this point I put two benches together under the mosquito net and tried to make myself comfortable since the bed was soaked. If you know me, you know that I am absolutely petrified of just about every insect. It's slightly ridiculous. Obviously Thailand wasn't the best choice in those regards. All the rain drove in hoards of these horrible flying ants that are the size or bigger than bumble bees. They found their way into my mosquito net and it was with not a little screaming that I fumbled my way out and left the room. I decided I might sleep in the surgery room since it has a door that keeps out bugs. That worked for all of 15 minutes except for the bugs that were already in the surgery room. After three strange insects falling on my from the ceiling I was out of there. By now it's maybe 2am and I decided I'd clean up the kitchen a bit. I washed all the dishes and put everything back in order and realized it was about 4:30am. Between 5am and 5:30am the call to prayer sounds which generally sets the dogs off howling so I figured that I might as well just stay awake until that was over and then curl up until the 7am shift volunteers arrived. A fine idea, except that the prayer call did not happen that morning and so I stood (swayed) in the kennel alley until 5:45am at which point I collapsed upon a bench and fell fast asleep. For twenty minutes. Because twenty minutes later I was awoken to a massive cockroach crawling on me. Seriously? I couldn't handle it. I sat outside on a plastic chair, doubled over my pillow that I had on my lap, in and out of sleep until 7am. I've officially nominated it for worst sleep in of the week. It most likely will receive worst sleep in of the month as well. It has a good chance at winning worst sleep in of the year. Might even make worst sleep in ever.

Onto better things. Friday, my first day off, I went exploring on Lanta Noi (the north island, the place where we went to meet the sea gypsy who took us caving) with Miriam who also had the day off. That morning also marked one month since I leased my bike and it was with no regrets that I returned the Death Mobile. This meant that I went on the back of Miriam's for the whole day and it was probably better that way considering the amount of times we turned around or pointed at something saying, "Is that a road?" "No, no, never mind, keep driving!" Essentially there are two roads on this island. On the map it seems much larger than Lanta Yai but in places to go and things to do it is considerably smaller. We spent about four hours driving around which is really an impressive amount of time for these two roads. What makes me wonder most is the people living there in these very small huts. What do they do all day? What do their futures look like? Will they live here forever? I almost feel a bit guilty that I can travel around as I am when they will most likely never get those same opportunities. And all the small children are so unbelievably excited to see you. They wave and shout, "Hello!!" and run, grinning, after us. Why are they so happy to see us?

Today was also my day off and it was a lovely, beautiful, hot hot day spent with a few people at lunch and at the beach. Such a perfect beach day, really. Most of the people here are Europeans and we're all getting a kick out of how their phrases are working themselves into my vocabulary. I had a "proper cuddle" with Stripey the cat yesterday. I was completely "knackered" after my sleepless sleep-in. I say "banana" like "banawnah" and "sauce" like "sawhs." It's well entertaining. Also I'm two-thirds of the way through Eat, Pray, Love now and quite enjoying it. After reading the section on India it made me want to meditate which I haven't done since that time in Israel when I went to Danny's cousin, James', meditation class. Not to be a hippie-yoga-vegetarian-tea drinker...but I think I want to do it more often. We shall see I suppose. It's just about time for dinner here so perhaps this is a good stopping point. Hopefully I can steal Miriam's laptop again soon for writing (what would I do without her). And she's just knocked on my door...bye!

Money? Poison? Nepal?

After a few weeks that positively flew by it only makes sense that time would have to slow down at some point, and so it did this past week. Between all the trouble with my bike, feeling sick part of the time, and a lot of hellos and goodbyes I found myself a bit stressed out and then it had to get even more sticky with some money problems. I went to change some money from Scotland (British Pounds) at the bank on Friday and was told by multiple banks that they don't accept that here because they don't recognize it as legitimate British Pounds. What with the language barrier they wouldn't accept my explanation that it is real and valid and the same, just from Scotland. Luckily I still had 200 dollars in travellers cheques which I changed, but that roughly equates to half the amount of money I just spent during the past four weeks and I've got another four weeks to go (shit). Not that it's an impossible amount to live on, it just means that I wouldn't be able to rent another bike once my lease on the Death Mobile runs out and I'd have to be a bit more frugal in general. However, when I told this to people back at the shelter one of the guys, Justin, offered to take some of my money with him on his visa run to Penang which is quite a bit larger than Koh Lanta and has a higher chance of changing my money. So he'll return this Thursday and until then I'm just being very conservative with my money but crossing my fingers all the same. Also this week I managed to break off half my toenail on two separate toes through entirely different events; needless to say it hasn't been my best week here.

Not to be a negative nancy but one other quite sad thing happened this week which brought to light some of the reasons a place like Lanta Animal Welfare is necessary: a poisoned dog was brought in. Around the beginning and end of high season (we're coming to the end) cases of dog poisoning become quite regular I've been told. People put pieces of poisoned chicken inside coconut shells which the dogs proceed to eat and die a rapid, but horribly painful, death. The poison makes the heart speed up until the whole system just shuts down. The owner of the dog brought in saw the dog eat the poisoned chicken and brought her in immediately; that's the only reason this dog stood a chance. And the volunteers watched helplessly as the seizing dog was held by the vets and its sobbing owner; the vets are deperately trying to make it vomit up the poison as well as hold its leg still enough to put an IV in and giving it injections to slow the heart rate. It was too much for me to watch the entire procedure, but after a tense night the vets were able to save the dog by putting her on fluids and flushing it out. What is really maddening about this case is that this wasn't just a stray dog wandering loose, not that it's alright to abuse those dogs either, but this is someone's family pet whose had her since she was a puppy and loves her dearly. Three other recorded dogs died that day from the same poison and they weren't the first and they won't be the last. I can vouch for every person here that we work our hardest everyday to make sure all our animals are well cared for and in clean environments, and then there are people out there purposely laying out poison just because they don't like the dogs. How can we educate these people when they consider the animals pests rather than pets?

Okay time for good things for the rest of this post. We have the sweetest puppy ever! Our full time vet, Dr. Tey, found a very young puppy wandering around by himself and brough him to the shelter. He had a collar on so we put up posters around the island and waited for someone to claim him but it's been a few days and no one has yet. While it would be really great for him to have a home and a family we're all secretly delighted that he's here because honestly he is the cutest puppy ever. Dr. Tey told us not to name him because he didn't want us thinking we could keep him, so naturally we named him Tey.

I really like both of the new volunteers. Both come from the UK. Tilly has a few horses so we talk about that a lot and we're planning on visiting the horse rescue tomorrow afternoon. We also plan on going snorkeling together in the next few weeks providing I have money. I also really like Sarah and am possibly thinking about considering going to Nepal with her for a few weeks. I don't know that I have money to do that because I'd have to change my flight back to California by about a week and also pay for a roundtrip from Bangkok to Nepal that costs I have no idea how much. BUT if I have I'm going to do it! I feel too boxed in with my flights all planned out - it's too rigid. I want to travel more and at my leisure. To be honest, after a month on Koh Lanta I sometimes feel like I've had enough of it and would like to just move around a bit but because I've got my flight booked out of Krabi, the nearest mainland, and all my flights home already planned out there's not much wiggle room. Unless I just blow off my Krabi flight and go to Nepal! Most of the people here are in some stage of their travels around South East Asia and that's what I'd really like to do - just travel about as I see fit. If not this trip then the next one, and I assure you there will be a next one.

This week is an exciting one in that I have TWO days off work, Friday and Saturday. I don't even know what to do with all that free time. Possibly Friday I'll go jungle trekking with Miriam who also has that day off. Friday I return my bike and by then I'll know if Justin was successful and if I have money or not to rent a different bike. Can I include a quick books update? I've finished my last book from home, Nine Stories by J.D. Salinger and have begun my raid of the shelter's book collection. I settled on Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert which seems fitting in the context of what I'm doing right now. Hard for me to believe I arrived here one month ago today. I still sometimes feel like I've just arrived but I'm realizing how well I know the island as compared to those first few days when the only frame of reference was before or after 7/11. Passover starts at the end of this week but I don't know that I'm really in a position to practice that while I'm here. Definitely can't get any matza on Koh Lanta. I hope all is well wherever you are and with any luck I'll be able to write again soon.